India

Feb 11

“Sirji, Sirji! Here today! Yeah?” Some of the boys shouted as I stood outside their classroom looking for Indo who was late. Indo had slowly become my rock and my teaching was lost without her. Since day one she had sort of been an ideal representation of Indian women for me. Her soft smile and shy voice was only half of her character. Rub her the wrong way and quickly she would tell you why that was wrong. She is patriotic, brave, a dreamer, and can be quite funny, things many of these women are striving to be.

The reason I was looking for her was simply to ask her a preference. Today was photo project day with the older class, but I was also supposed to do thank you cards with the younger class. The thank you cards are for the generous donors who gave Vidya money to rent a new classroom for the children, while today’s photo topic was ‘Dreams.’ When Indo arrived she told me she had no preference and I could do the cards anytime. So I stayed in on the photo lesson as the class discussed dreams. Just like last week they were sent out on the streets to take four photos on this theme. When the children headed out I decided to go do the cards.

As I entered through the garage door I was welcomed by a room full of jumping, clapping, screaming kids. “Good morning, Good Morning!” they yelled. My face lit up and I forgot about how bad they had been before. We started the cards and halfway through Sushil from the other class came in brandishing his camera. “Sirji, Ick (one) photo?” he asked. I nodded and smiled as I wondered why he was taken a photo of me for the theme “dreams,” but I was flattered nonetheless. I didn’t have time to head back to that class to find out, but I will next week. After class we had our tea and I headed home. The day was not over.

Heather and I had been presented with the unbelievable opportunity to be able to attend an Indian wedding. Her brother went to school in Arizona with an Indian by the name of Prashant. Prashant’s cousin was getting married in Gurgeon and he was on his way to pick us up to go shopping for clothes. We tried to go shopping but ended up just getting coffee and apple cake. Prashant quickly realized that we were running late, took a quick look at us, and said we were good enough to go. We both look at each other knowing that we weren’t at all dressed to go to a wedding, but me in my corduroys and Heather in her jeans we hopped in the car and headed off.

We first arrived at an apartment where about six people were scurrying about to get ready.  After a few minutes they all came out in their very fancy clothes one by one to say hello. More then ever now, we felt underdressed. When everyone was finally ready we headed down to the street where the cars were waiting for us. Back home in this situation people would just hop in and go, but again this is India. Prashant joked about how everything here is planned at the last minute and this was a perfect example. Everyone was running about switching seats and shouting orders for 15 minutes. To think that this was just with concerns to the five-minute ride there I couldn’t help but wonder how long this whole wedding actually took to plan.

After we got this all sorted out and had arrived at our destination I got out of the car on the side of the busy street and started to walk towards the flowers and bright lights. Huge sheets draped the sides of the walk way which was a red carpet bordered with thousands of real flowers. Flowers hung down like chandeliers and curtains. This walk went on for about 250 feet before entering into a massive square grassland covered in lights and decorations. We were greeted and then a bright light was pointed in our faces. We were being filmed and put on the many T.V. screens located all around the premises. There was probably about five video guys, three cameramen, countless techies behind the scenes, and even a camera crane like in big movie productions. The walls were lined with hundreds of cooks making anything you could think of.  One wall was dedicated to strictly sweets, while another was fruits and deserts, and the other was food from all over including China and Mexico. Along with this there was hundreds of servers walking around constantly offering you drinks and food, while another servers just held the food. They had two stages of singers and dancers. It was all just too much.

Prashant took us outside to witness the parade that was bringing the groom in and what I saw there was even crazier. Handfuls of money flying everywhere, fire, marching bands, drummers, and finally the groom dressed like a prince in diamonds on a house drawn buggy. Women and men were dancing and screaming like nothing I had ever seen before. We ran back inside to get a good spot for the second parade for the groom, the one that brought him from the entrance to his seat on the stage. I simply could not believe any of this was happening. There were probably 3,000 people at this party that was supposed to last until seven in the morning. And to think that this wasn’t even the biggest party!  The couple had an engagement party in August; a dance party yesterday, the wedding today, and tomorrow was the reception. If I had to guess I would say there was probably 500 performers, 800 food related people, and 300 technical people for these two people.

We then left for a bit to go visit the bride in her hotel room. She was drenched in gold and diamonds. Her make-upped face was covered by piercings including the traditional nose ring that connected to an earring by a golden chain. She was dressed in a wine red sari and diamonds. Not only were all her diamonds real, but also so were all her close families. “You can’t go to your sisters wedding in fake diamonds, never.” Prashant said when he was pointing out her sister’s necklace. When the bride got up to head to wedding we went back for some more food.  Seeing all this food I wondered two things; how no Indians were fat and how 51% of children here are malnourished. Prashant also told us how they would be preparing food for 5,000 people just because it is considered extremely rude to run out of any food. That being said, between the food not eaten, the food not liked, and the food not finished countless numbers of meals would be going wasted.

We finished our Punjabi food (which is my personal favorite type of food from this region) and headed over to the main stage right at the ceremonies begun. The two stood on a platform the rose and smoked like an expensive rock concert. The platform then started to spin as the crowd cheered. “Oh, lord” I thought.

I had gotten there at eight and it was now one in the morning. The couple was being bombarded with lines of people who just wanting to get a photo with them. The cameras were blazing and the people were dancing. After seeing it all, we decided it was about time to go.

As we exited Prachant informed us that this wedding was only a little bit more then average, but still nothing compared to some of the weddings. Seeing that most marriages are arranged, including this one, it seems so impossible to have such a big celebrations for two people who don’t even really know each other, but they definitely do it. At five in the morning the traditional and religious ceremonies would start in another huge tent. There was no way I would be able to stay up for that, so I took a last look, marveling of the clothes, flowers, statues, and other beautiful things as I got back into the car. “It really was beautiful,” I said to Heather on the way home. The colors, and sites were all done so well and in Indian fashion, but this was only one India. This experience drew me closer to the India I knew, to the India I loved. The India I loved was located a half-hour from here in Pappan Kalan.

I had seen the wedding that no American girl could have even dreamed of. “To my future wife” I thought, “I’m sorry, but I will never be able to give you anything like this … thank God.”

The groom’s horse ride in

The cameras

The new couple